Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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