i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
