if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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