Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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