I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
