I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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