feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
