I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
