Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize