I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
