I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
