all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
