i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
