I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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