I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
