Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
