my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
