we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
