Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
