just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
