and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I will be naked everywhere
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize