Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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