i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize