how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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