he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
