I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize