Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
