you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
