All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize