Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
