I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
