dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
