I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
