I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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