I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
