im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
that's an acceptable place to lick
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
