I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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