And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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