If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
3pm strippers are depressing
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
