need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
