maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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