I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
