Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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