mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
