Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
