Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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