I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
