Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
