The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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