3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
