Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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