I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
