I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize