you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
