Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
soo... how was my night?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
