He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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