nut hugger
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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