So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
