what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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