He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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