Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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