We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
