You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
