so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
