I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
