It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
