I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
