dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
