I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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