don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
