Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
